She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
