so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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