Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
