He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
