im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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