I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
