You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
