So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
