Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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