dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
