i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
