I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
