I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
