we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
