Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
