I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
