stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
