U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize