Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
