I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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