I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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