im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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