Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
