I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
