called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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