We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
