I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Pooping to opera.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
