He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
