the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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