next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
