...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
