first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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