shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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