i just wanna soil my oats bro
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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