at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
