Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
