we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
