batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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