I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
