im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
