I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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