A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
