I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Green mimosas i think yes
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
