This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
