i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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