i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
