You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
