She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He better not be in your backpack
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
