It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
