Can Purell be used as lube?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
